Girl of a different Era

My dear Readers,

It seems too long since we sat down and shared our thoughts. Though nowadays I find myself doing most of my creative work on Instagram it is with you, here in this little space, that I always go to share my heart thoughts. And now in a mood of reflection I thought perhaps I would fill you in on a little of what’s been going on!

This Sunday I’ll be turning twenty-two! It’s strange because this is the first number I’m not crazy about turning. Up until now, I waited for my birthday with ecstasy, so excited to be turning another year older. Sixteen was great for a permit. Eighteen was good for a job. And turning twenty one meant I finally would be viewed as an adult. Now, I’m not trying to say twenty-two is old. I know I’m really still a kid compared to the grand scheme of things, but it does mark an interesting switch. All this to say there are a lot of other positive aspects. This is actually my first birthday in three years that I’ll be celebrating living back in New York. It’s a wonderful feeling really!

It still boggles my mind how much has changed and continues to change from last Spring. I’ve moved a few times, graduated my apprenticeship, moved again to take care of my grandmother, been hired by my favorite antique store and started pursuing a future as a personal stylist! Life has been far from easy in my twenty-first year. The very word ‘moving’ makes me go green in the gills and if things could stop changing I might get a chance to catch a break. However, looking through the big picture I can really begin to see the blessings wrapped up in all of this.

You know for every birthday that I made it home for college, I would always visit my favorite antique store with a group of friends. I would have never guessed last April that by my very next birthday I’d be an employee at this store! Sometimes I still have to pinch myself just to make sure it’s true!!! It truly feels like home there! I’m able to encourage customers getting into vintage fashion, help people find the treasures they are looking for, and celebrate with them over their finds! I have the best time dressing vintage for work and everyone seems to enjoy it too! This store is truly my happy place!!

I had also hoped I could work at Joann’s, that of course didn’t happen and I now can see that was a blessing in disguise. Instead, I worked at Tractor Supply with some of the best coworkers ever! It was hard to leave them to work and live as a primary caregiver for my grandma with dementia. This was a hard switch and most days it still is (none of this comes naturally to me) but, here I am still kicking and slowly adjusting. And the blessing behind this twist is that, it has, in a way, given me more time to work on sewing creations and some of my career goals.

Personal styling has been something that has interested me for a while and I’ve now almost completed the full course of training from ‘The Style Academy’. There is a lot to still do before I’m really ready but it’s so exciting to be that much closer to the goal!

Now we come down to the most important help, besides God. It’s one that I’ve often mentioned in other reflecting posts… friends! The Lord has blessed me with some of the kindest most caring friends ever. From those I made as a kid, met in college, reenactments, childhood, and my coworkers and the customers I meet every workday. Both last June and this February were very dark months for me. A feeling of overwhelming change, being trapped in, and struggling to rise above a feeling of creative suffocation. Both of these times my friends have literally lifted me up. When I was too weak to light the candles of hope in my heart they would bring matches and hold them high. All the little and big gestures carried me through and slowly I would gain my own strength back and begin to light the candles of hope myself!

As the smoke of yet another move clears, I begin to see with surprise that many of the things I hoped for last Spring I am now living in (maybe not in the way I imagined but, still). I also see that I would not be where I am if it wasn’t for people who truly believed in me. Sometimes God hands us blessings hidden under the wraps of great difficulty.

Many times my friends and I have reminded ourselves that this is just a chapter. Mostly that gives me hope that one day things will be different but, it also gives me pause to appreciate the ‘right now’ before things change. Yes, life is full of chapters and it is with a long sigh that I close the beautiful and difficult ‘Twenty One’ and flip open ‘Twenty Two’ . I don’t know what this year will hold, but I will trust that the Lord will redeem its struggles and fill it with hope renewed!

On that note, I will leave you my friends, thank you for joining me in quiet reflection!